Eurovision 2022 pe Twitter

O fi luat Elon Musk Twitter-ul, dar încă nu știe că există o seara pe an când acesta se transformă sub clar de lună, dintr-o platformă de anunțat chestii într-o mină de aur umoristic.

De remarcat că anul acesta mi-au atras atenția poante și în alte limbi decât engleză, că doar e Eurovision, adică unitate în diversitate, vericule!

My Annual Evening of Sarcasm is just about to begin. You might know it as Eurovision.

Let the cheese fest commence! I fully expect whacky costumes, at least one streaker appearance and Ukraine to burp the alphabet and romp home to victory.

Sweetie, be quiet, mummy’s trying to watch the Gay Superbowl.

Romania really said „screw it, everyone knows we’re vampires anyway”.

Portugal gets extra points for having the good grace to look faintly embarrassed in the drone shots.

Le chanteur de The Rasmus a vraiment choisi une solution audacieuse pour cacher sa calvitie précoce.

Hey Switzerland, looks like you finally picked a side. The losing side!

Typical of ‘em to not sing in English, smug bastards! (despre Franța).

I don’t watch Eurovision for a good ballad. I want crazy pop that I can jiggle my butt to. WE WANT WEIRD!

Armenia were the cause of the toilet paper shortage during the lockdowns?

The presenters come across as three people who’ve met for the first time in a smoking area at 3am, and I enjoy that.

Apparently happiness is prohibited in Eurovision.

No os preocupeis si España no gana, siempre tendremos Sudáfrica (un spaniol).

I won’t forgive Cyprus for giving Greece’s discount Kate Bush 12 points.

Alguien en Nashville se está ahorcando (se sufocă – n.m.) después de ver esto (un spaniol despre Islanda).

Moldova understood the assignment for Eurovision.

Australia in Eurovision!? That’ll confuse millions of children getting ready for their Geography GCSE and A Level exams!

Why does this look like a sect and why am I interested in joining? (despre Serbia)

Estonia’s Got Talinnt.

Pare che per partecipare all’Eurovision ci sia solo una regola: essere gay.

Ngl (not gonna lie – n.n.), if i didn’t already know I was gay, Serbia would’ve been my lesbian awakening. No, I will not elaborate.

El robo del Barca al PSG va a quedar en anécdota comparado con el que nos van a meter hoy.

Next year everyone’s arses are going to be hanging out, aren’t they?

Moldova being so low in the jury votes will be my villain origin story.

Surely there was a mix up with the paperwork and everyone put an abbreviation of Ukraine and it’s been misconstrued as UK? Can be the only explanation.

If we win, I’m going to run upstairs and excitedly let my wife know. The last time I did this was to let her know Michael Jackson had died. You have to savour these moments (un englez).

La France avant dernière, allez cassez vous les bretons avec votre musique de merde.

Delighted to see Moldova get such a huge public vote. A strike against the Boring Ballad Brigade.

El año que viene se celebra Eurovisión en un búnker.

Eurovision is just very very good fun, isn’t it?

Eurovision 2018 pe Twitter

Twitter-ul a fost resuscitat de Donald Trump, insa momentul cand atinge zenitul este in noaptea Eurovisionului, iar 2018 n-a facut exceptie, asa ca iata inca o editie de colectie de poante adunate de peste aceasta retea sociala, sa aveti ce face pana imi redactez mazgaliturile proprii din timpul concursului:

Nobody cares how deep the lyrics of your ballad are. We wanna see lit shit. We want Russian grandmas baking cookies on stage, we want gays, we want strippers. That’s what Eurovision is REALLY about.

If Ireland doesn’t give us 12 points, they can fuck off thinking they’ll get any sort of Customs arrangement. (un englez)

I love how memeable Eurovision is.

Hello to all our friends in Europe. Please vote for Ireland. We’re not in World Cup this year and we could really do with a win.

If by some fluke Britain were ever to win and we had to find someone dull to do this interval music while votes are counted, it’d be Ed Cocking Sheeran wouldn’t it?

This interval section of Eurovision is the exact feeling of sitting in a club at 1 AM, wishing you were at home while all your wasted mates dance to shit music.

So 50% of the Eurovision vote comes from you on the phone, 50% from each country’s panel and the other 50% from Putin.

I hope that microphone thief is given the maximum penalty, which I presume is being forced to listen to Lithuania’s song on loop for eternity.

You don’t know cringe until you watch Eurovision presenters attempt comedy.

I hate this time in the Eurovision. Waiting for the voting. It’s like the time between getting the „we need to talk” text, and being told why you’re such a shitbag who needs to be dumped.

GDPR must have peaked. My husband just asked: “Wait, isn’t this Eurovision vote a massive data collection of phone numbers?!”. Yes, yes it is. (Bravo, Gabi!)

Cyprus is absolutely the girl who starts drama on a night out and ends up crying in the Uber home about how everyone is just jealous of her.

Next year we should send a Brexiteer and let them sit there as Europe shout WE’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU at them for 40 minutes.

Three things are certain in life – death, taxes and Greece and Cyprus giving each other 12 points.

Russia making their intentions clear with Moldova after sending them 12 points. I’d be afraid.

Can I enter Eurovision 2019 with a „Free Palestine” ballad?

I bloody love Eurovision with unbridled joy, not least because it reminds me the world makes no sense and it’s important to know that.