Eurovision 2021 pe Twitter

By Iulian in De prin satul planetar, Intre muzical si conceptual 0 Comment

Mulțumescu-ți, Twitter, că, după doi ani de inactivitate, nu mi-ai dezactivat contul și m-am putut bucura din nou de încântător de comica agoră virtuală care însoțește orice ediție de Eurovision. Iată câteva poante prinse între ascultarea unor melodii despre care vă voi relata de îndată ce stăpânul nostru, Timpul, ne-o va permite:

Malta: “What if we just write a really really really good song and don’t do anything weird?” Rest of Eurovision: „…you mean that’s allowed?”.

Disappointed by Portugal’s lack of a glittery silver bodysuit. Did they not get the memo?

We would like to go on record and state that the UK song is actually very very good (we will delete this tweet when we get nil points).

Germany… you have completely surprised me. You DO have a sense of humour. I mean… this was a joke right? Right?

Germany’s entry is like having coffee poured into your eyes while someone shouts JUST CHEER UP at you.

Nothing but respect for Bulgaria’s outfit, we haven’t taken our pyjamas off all year either.

Dammit, Lithuania’s tune is invading my mind – it’s like being hypnotised by a bunch of bananas.

Ukraine was really really terrible – they might win it.

San Marino obviously had several passionate, conflicting conversations about costume direction and then decided “all of them”.

Be warned; if you drink and drive after Eurovision, you may end up with more points than the United Kingdom.

The fact we literally buy our entry into Eurovision every year just to come last is just so British.

0 votes from the pros, 0 votes from the public. Never been prouder.

(Deși eram adormit 90%, momentul când s-a anunțat asta m-a trezit și m-a amuzat de n-am mai putut pune geană pe geană vreo oră – n.m.).

Eurovision 2018 pe Twitter

By Iulian in De prin satul planetar, Intre muzical si conceptual 0 Comment

Twitter-ul a fost resuscitat de Donald Trump, insa momentul cand atinge zenitul este in noaptea Eurovisionului, iar 2018 n-a facut exceptie, asa ca iata inca o editie de colectie de poante adunate de peste aceasta retea sociala, sa aveti ce face pana imi redactez mazgaliturile proprii din timpul concursului:

Nobody cares how deep the lyrics of your ballad are. We wanna see lit shit. We want Russian grandmas baking cookies on stage, we want gays, we want strippers. That’s what Eurovision is REALLY about.

If Ireland doesn’t give us 12 points, they can fuck off thinking they’ll get any sort of Customs arrangement. (un englez)

I love how memeable Eurovision is.

Hello to all our friends in Europe. Please vote for Ireland. We’re not in World Cup this year and we could really do with a win.

If by some fluke Britain were ever to win and we had to find someone dull to do this interval music while votes are counted, it’d be Ed Cocking Sheeran wouldn’t it?

This interval section of Eurovision is the exact feeling of sitting in a club at 1 AM, wishing you were at home while all your wasted mates dance to shit music.

So 50% of the Eurovision vote comes from you on the phone, 50% from each country’s panel and the other 50% from Putin.

I hope that microphone thief is given the maximum penalty, which I presume is being forced to listen to Lithuania’s song on loop for eternity.

You don’t know cringe until you watch Eurovision presenters attempt comedy.

I hate this time in the Eurovision. Waiting for the voting. It’s like the time between getting the „we need to talk” text, and being told why you’re such a shitbag who needs to be dumped.

GDPR must have peaked. My husband just asked: “Wait, isn’t this Eurovision vote a massive data collection of phone numbers?!”. Yes, yes it is. (Bravo, Gabi!)

Cyprus is absolutely the girl who starts drama on a night out and ends up crying in the Uber home about how everyone is just jealous of her.

Next year we should send a Brexiteer and let them sit there as Europe shout WE’VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU at them for 40 minutes.

Three things are certain in life – death, taxes and Greece and Cyprus giving each other 12 points.

Russia making their intentions clear with Moldova after sending them 12 points. I’d be afraid.

Can I enter Eurovision 2019 with a „Free Palestine” ballad?

I bloody love Eurovision with unbridled joy, not least because it reminds me the world makes no sense and it’s important to know that.

Eurovision 2016 – Twitter-ul nu se dezminte

By Iulian in Intre muzical si conceptual 0 Comment

Eurovision_2016_2

Spre deosebire de alti ani, in 2016 chiar am intrat sa verific ca nu mi s-a dezactivat contul de Twitter. Orice, numai sa nu raman fara poantele de la Eurovision, care au fost, din nou, la inaltime. Pana imi descifrez notitele redactate la lumina lanternei, va las sa va delectati cu ele:

So basically, District 13 won the Eurovision Hunger Games.

Which one of you is working on a 6,000 word piece on why Eurovision will be the platform on which all future European wars will be fought?

Aussies will now vote to leave EU.

Is it possible Austrians voting for Australians thinking it was themselves?

Russia vs. Ukraine? Waiting for Justin Timberlake to come out and sing Crimea River (cea mai tare, de departe!).

An entire new voting system designed to cruelly raise British hopes.

This voting system is just oh so European! No one knows what’s going on, but everyone goes along with it anyway.

Kids, if there was ever a legit choice to learn Maths, it’s to ensure you can work out who’s won Eurovision.

Putin and Australia defeated. No greater result for Britain.

Can’t believe the Eurovision is going to be our generation’s assassination of Franz Ferdinand.

12 points to Gryffindor!

So it’s official: professional musical people on the juries don’t mind us too much, it’s the public that hate the British.

Germany on 1 point, things haven’t looked this bleak for Germany since 1945.

Meanwhile, North Korea celebrate their 5th successive Eurovision win.

Every Eurovision vote preamble is like the awkward current-girlfriend vs. ex-girlfriend encounter.

The American presenters are figuring this out as they go. They’ve only just realised a country can’t vote for themselves.